The first ominous sign that a segment of our varied census is in jeopardy was in the creation of Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes.  Sherlock, a noted British detective, preferred a stouter octane stuffing of his smoking pipe than Prince Albert, but that fetish was not the harbinger of the alarming consequence that his choice of head covering precipitated.  He wore an early configuration of the ubiquitous gimme cap of today.  It had two bills—one fore and the other aft, and his face and neck were both shaded from direct sunlight.

Next, around 1948, Humphrey Bogart starred in the black and white movie titled “Dead End”.  In that movie the dead end was a segment of New York City, where a group of neglected teenagers lurked with mischief on their minds.  They were capable of heisting the tires from a vehicle traversing their turf at a rate of thirty miles an hour.  One of that gang, Satch, wore a baseball cap, which was occasionally donned with the overhanging bill over the nape of his neck.  It was a sign of things to come.

If you partake of Professional Football you know who Peyton Maning and Tony Romo are, but the subtle difference between the two is obvious when they retire to the bench between assaults on the gridiron.

Peyton, the elder of the two, puts his gimme on with the bill shading his face.  Tony Romo, however, transfers the bill of his adornment to the rear, probably so that his entire visage is more available to the camera crews who photograph the most amazing sights for Mr. Amd Mrs. America.

It is my considered opinion that somewhere between the vintages of those two worthies, the movement to wipe out the redneck segment of our population lies.  The redneck contingent of today is doomed for extinction, since there will be no red necks to aid in separating those who do not own a red nape—the multitudes who dwelleth north of the Mason-Dixon Line and east of the mighty Mississippi River.

It is for this reason that I beseech the youth of our geographic area to return to days of yore.  Wear that bill to the front—and brown the back of your neck!  Show pride in you heritage!

Let me hear from you.

My phone number is 254-893-5063.

My postal address is 333 W. Ayers, De Leon TX 76444.

You can e-mail me at Charles@CharlesChupp.com.

By Charles Chupp, Copyright ©2008 Charles Chupp